


Holy Water (cannot help you now)

by Dark_K



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Possible plot spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-10 03:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_K/pseuds/Dark_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I forgive you, my love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Water (cannot help you now)

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing belongs to me. There are spoilers for the first five books of A Song of Ice and Fire, and a few theories from the fandom.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> The song in the middle of it – and from where comes the title of the story – is Seven Devils, by Florence + The Machine.

  


_Holy water cannot help you now  
A thousand armies couldn't keep me out  
I don't want your money  
I don't want your crown  
See I have to burn your kingdom down_

There was so much more to Lyanna Stark than her beauty. More to her than the wildness of her hair or the soft curves hidden by her dark dresses. There was more to her than the prospect of a good wedding, the promise of being part of the same family as your best friend, of deepening connections with the few people you trust.

You've never loved her, Robert, never truly loved her, for you've never really known her.

There is a war raging outside these walls. A war full of blood and fire, caused by me, the Blood of the Dragon, and I can't regret a thing – I cannot regret a single thing – because I did it all for her, and what I felt for her, and everything we could be together had we met before, had our wedding been arranged by ourselves.

I do not care what people think. Rapist, murderer, insane crazed Targaryen, who could never love, who abandoned his children and wife, who is going to put an end to his own lineage for a woman.

I would be insane had Lyanna been a simple woman, but she is not.  _She_  is blood and fire. Winter and summer. Old gods and new, strength, love – a warrior in the body of a woman, and fighting her battles all the same.

She's the one I was waiting for, the one I knew would come. She's the one I've seen in my dreams, when is so dark out you can't seem to see your own thoughts. She's the one who is going to end it all, make it all new again, teach my family a lesson, have the Kingdom breathe for a few years in a mockery of peace.

It was written – not in parchments or books or in a Sept somewhere: it was written in the night, in the nothingness, in the eyes of the Others. We are the ones to end it all, to destroy it all, to make it all start again, better and eternal.

But for something to start anew, first it must be destroyed. And that is what we have to do, my love, my Lyanna, my Queen of Love and Beauty.

We will tear it all apart and bring it all down.

And I am so sorry, my love.

So, so sorry.

_And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out  
I'm gonna raise the stakes  
I'm gonna smoke you out_

There is a wildness in me that no one had ever seen. Not Ned, not Robert, not Brandon, no one. I knew of it, and  _he_ knew of it as soon as he had seen me. And it was our destiny, it was our fate, it was our part to play in this enormous game we all play, and I could not fight it – maybe I did not want to fight it, even if I knew it would break Ned's heart, it would tear Brandon apart, it would destroy Robert.

But Rhaegar was more than a man. He was more than the King he was supposed to be – he was life, rage and passion. He was deep thought and reckless actions, and more than anything, he was the instant love he had for me – as no one had ever loved me before.

It would not last – it could not last – we both knew it as soon as he had me by his side. We were fire, and fire burns fast, and destroys it all in its wake. There was no place for gentleness in us. We would consume everything around us, and so we did.

A year and a day by his side. And I wouldn't trade this year and a day for anything in the world – not for a kingdom, or a long life, or all the battles I could never fight. It was our role to play, and play it we did.

We brought it all down around us, down with us, down for us, and it will all rise again, later, in another lifetime, when neither of us will be here to witness it – this is not our war, my love, this is only our end.

The baby in my arms will be a bastard, no matter where he's raised. I know Ned will raise him with Catelyn, I know she'll hate him, thinking him a proof of a betrayal of my brother, but Ned is nothing if not loyal to his family, and I was family before she was.

He will guide him, and look out for him, and love him as a son. The son I love and cherish, the son Rhaegar loves and cherishes, the son we will never see grow up, become a man, become who he is supposed to be.

We won't see another day, my love, and it is all right, for it is our destiny.

I forgive you everything, because I've loved you ever since the moment I first saw you.

And history will be cruel to you, my love, it will hate you; and Robert, when he wins - and you and I know he will - will destroy every single good memory anyone could have of you, and your insane father's son is all they will remember.

But we will know, my love. We will know, and we will remember. The ghosts of the war that is near its end, but either of us will live to see it.

My forgiveness is yours, now and forever.

I forgive you, Rhaegar.

I forgive you.

_Seven devils all around you  
Seven devils in my house  
See they were there when I woke up this morning  
I'll be dead before the day is done_


End file.
